Even We Have Standards: Two Things Not To Do With Stuff That Comes Out Of Your Nethers
I'm pretty sure that my body expelled some placenta with the births of both my children, but the only evidence of that is, in each case, the memory of someone yelling 'YOU'RE NOT DONE YET' after I'd shot each baby out of my lower parts. Because, no, I most certainly did not keep those placenta. And I most certainly did not do this:
Placenta Facials are, apparently, the latest thing in Having Fun With Your Placenta, a category of merry-making that also, apparently, includes Eating It and Burying It.
Look, I don't care if it gives me the skin of a 18 year old Estonian supermodel: I'm not putting anything from down there on my face. Nor – and I think that this goes without saying – am I eating it (oh, it's high in zinc and iron? SO ARE FROOT LOOPS.) Why do anything with it at all? When you're doing post-birth inventory on what items of potential utility shot out of your nethers, isn't there really only one thing that you're looking for?
You know: THE BABY?
Foul. Gross. Disgusting. Now whenever I get a facial (which is pretty much never), I’ll be wondering what she’s rubbing into my pores.
So when are you posting a recipe for a Froot Loop facial? ;)
PS: cats eat their placenta. they also lick their asses. i shall pass on both. ew.
Ew. That’s about all I can summon up to say. And even that was a struggle.
mmmm, Froot Loops.