Have you ever been burned by a sanctimommy in play group, library, or anywhere that that attracts the particularly vicious alpha variety of mom?
Have you ever received the continuous, harsh stink-eye or had totally passive-aggressive comments directed at you by strangers in customs, airports, passport offices, medical facility, line-up, or [fill in any place that has long waiting periods that make pretty much everyone -- including your kid(s) -- cranky]?
Have you ever been chastised by local elderly over improper outerwear, headgear, or for [fill in your own unsolicited advice here]?
Hell, have you ever been force fed unsolicited advice from relatives, non-relatives, strangers, of any age group and sometimes of the childless variety? (The childless ones – the ones that haven’t so much as interacted with a child since their own childhoods – are my favorites. Nothing like hearing a lecture on why formula is toxic from that spinster aunt whose nearest experience to lactation is when she shops the dairy aisle.)
YES? Well, why not push their assumptions about your incompetence one step further? Why not have them think that you ARE a complete degenerate, or, at least, deficient in one or two or six important ways?
Sancti-people aren’t always as perfect as they would have you think. Sometimes they forget things. Like pens. And sancti-peeps always need to do things like collect everyone’s email so she can send out list of her parenting
advice and resources, or fill out his custom card, or sign for that
package in the lobby, or write down the name of the discipline book
that you just.must.read.now.
That’s when you have the opportunity to lend them one of your pens. One from this collection.
My favourites:
Verdant Fields Nudist Camp “Get In Touch with Your OUTER self!”
Springfield Sexual Addiction Center “From PERV to PERFECT in as little as 10 days. Curbing your enthusiasm since 1998.”
One of these will leave them speechless. Guaranteed. Try giving the Shecky the Clown pen (‘Bar Mitzvahs – Weddings – Interventions’) to your favorite sanctimommy the next time she needs to write down for you the name of her toddler’s Latin tutor. Tell her that Shecky was awesome that one time when your family intervened to get you off of huffing craft glue, but that you’re pretty sure he’d be okay for a kid’s birthday.
Odds are she won’t preach the merits of toddler Latin to you again.
About katie
Love those! I need some of those :)
I had some of these in my last office. Well they were similar at least. I found them at Urban Outfitters. Works better than a flower tied to the top of a pen. Never had any of them stolen for long.