We've all been there: you're out and about, pushing Baby Fauntleroy in a regular old Graco stroller, or toddler Beauregard in a simple Cosco umbrella ride, and, just as you approach the park, you're confronted by a wall of Maclarens and Bugaboos and Stokkes and you worry that you might implode from the force of a dozen withering, superior glances of disdain.
You could always stare them down and say, my other stroller is a Chariot. Or you could just turn up with this:
Now, granted, a fully locked and loaded machine gun stroller is probably not going to make you any friends, but it sure as hell is going to scare the f*@# out of your enemies.
Other uses: playdates in Baghdad; playdates with James Cameron; fighting aliens; fighting our robot overlords; dealing with Kindergym bullies; fighting zombies; doing your own remake of Starship Troopers, but with babies; straining spaghetti.
And don't worry, in the event of apocalypse, your newborn needn't be left without armor and weaponry:
You kind of need a robo-nanny to go with this one – it's pretty heavy, and your non-robotic arms might have trouble pushing it – but I hear that Terminator Poppinses are pretty reliable and deft hands with diaper-changing, so long as the diapers are made of plutonium.
Note: odds of recall are high, but unlike those Maclarens, the limb-removing parts of these strollers are pretty obvious. If you keep the safety-locks on, odds of death or injury are only moderately high.
Odds of awesome: ASTRONOMICAL.
DesignBoom via Geekologie
About Her Bad Mother
I could use that for when I am making my way through Target on a Saturday.
I wonder if I could get that modified into a wheelchair.
Think of Jumby and the AWESOME.
Perfect for Christmas shopping.
That should thin the crowds at Disneyland!
Or you could use this to blow up a path through any mommy-dominated event. That way you wouldn’t have to worry about such nuisances as stroller etiquette or whether you’re going to lose a toenail from the 6 times your foot was run over by a monstrous carseat-in-stroller contraption.
I’m pretty sure that has some parts too small to be safe for under 36 months. Plus, no safety harness. Which should probably be at least Nascar-grade to deal with the kickback on those bad boys. Newborn neck are titchy, you know.
Love it! But (says the embarrassed Maclaren mom) come on, our Maclaren umbrella didn’t cost that much more than a fully-loaded Graco system. The Stokkes and Bugaboos are a whole different league. There’s dropping $150 on a stroller, and then there’s dropping a grand… we lived in Cambridge, MA when my DS was little & our Maclaren was pretty much the cheapest stroller in any crowd.
Weirdbird – full disclosure, I have TWO umbrella Maclarens (single and double). But I made the joke because of the recalls (the finger-snapping mechanism). Maclarens are more dangerous than loaded machine guns, didn’t you know?
True, you have to get within finger-chopping range to be in serious danger from a Maclaren – unlike those babies pictured above!
This is AWESOME.