We've all been there: you're out and about, pushing Baby Fauntleroy in a regular old Graco stroller, or toddler Beauregard in a simple Cosco umbrella ride, and, just as you approach the park, you're confronted by a wall of Maclarens and Bugaboos and Stokkes and you worry that you might implode from the force of a dozen withering, superior glances of disdain.
You could always stare them down and say, my other stroller is a Chariot. Or you could just turn up with this:
Now, granted, a fully locked and loaded machine gun stroller is probably not going to make you any friends, but it sure as hell is going to scare the f*@# out of your enemies.
Other uses: playdates in Baghdad; playdates with James Cameron; fighting aliens; fighting our robot overlords; dealing with Kindergym bullies; fighting zombies; doing your own remake of Starship Troopers, but with babies; straining spaghetti.
And don't worry, in the event of apocalypse, your newborn needn't be left without armor and weaponry:
You kind of need a robo-nanny to go with this one – it's pretty heavy, and your non-robotic arms might have trouble pushing it – but I hear that Terminator Poppinses are pretty reliable and deft hands with diaper-changing, so long as the diapers are made of plutonium.
Note: odds of recall are high, but unlike those Maclarens, the limb-removing parts of these strollers are pretty obvious. If you keep the safety-locks on, odds of death or injury are only moderately high.
Odds of awesome: ASTRONOMICAL.