I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but my daughter has a lovey that is – how to put this? – somewhat unconventional. Toady – aka The Phallic Lovely – is what remains of a plush Pottery Barn stacking toy. Toady was the – ahem – shaft of this toy. Toady causes my husband no end of angst because, really: Toady looks like genitalia.
Yesterday, life with Toady got a little more complicated. Yesterday, the girl decided that Toady needed his own sac carrying case. That decision resulted in this:
My husband has had enough. He's now insisting that Toady be sent to live at the lovey farm, or wherever it is that loveys go when grumpy parents pitch them in the general direction of the trash can. Me, I'm pretty determined to hang on to Toady until the girl gets married or becomes famous or finds herself in any circumstances in her adulthood where it would be fitting and/or really freaking funny to embarrass her. The fact that the girl is still attached to Toady and that she'd be upset if he were to become disappeared is kind of incidental to this debate, but it bears noting.
What would you do? If your child had the World's Most Embarrassing/Inappropriate Lovey, what would you do? Toss, stash in a time capsule, ignore, or publish on the Internet for all the world to see?
About Her Bad Mother
it’s a hard one! (no pun intended!!)
um – I’d have to share it with my friends (both online and not-online ones). I’d take lots of pictures, but I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it infront of the kidlet. eventually it’s a toy they’ll grow out of. hopefully.
besides, if it’s part of their childhood, you’re bound to have loads of photos, and you can use them as a parenting tool when h/she gets to the teenage years. :D
Oh dear. I have no idea. If it is my child’s lovey, I don’t think I’d have the heart to do that, but maybe just suggest a different way to carry it? :)
Steph
Toady appears to be happy to see us.
Oh my. That *is* unfortunate.
Your daughter will probably grow up open-minded when it comes to gender fluidity, without necessarily remembering why. Childhood is awesome.
I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard at anything on the Internet. Thanks for that much-needed boost. I dare say you’ll be able to torture her with that when she’s a teenager!
*snort*
Keep it and embarrass her later! :)
I suspect the only one who will be mortified by these photos is your husband. It would seem, from what you have shared, that your daughter does not have the personality quirks which will lead to embarrassment. More likely she will be spurred on to further mortify her father, and perhaps, even you. Good luck with that one! And her brother!
I would have to get rid of it. But I am glad that you shared your photo. :)
*giggle* Awesome.
Publish the photos, and frame the phallis. And then hang it in the family room.
Tell Kyle to MAN UP and grow a toady. Wink.
Tell Hubs that if he’s absolutely insistent that Toady must go, that HE must be the one to explain to your daughter exactly why-with no lies. If he’s able to come up with a reasonable explanation that won’t result in her utter devastation (she’s only what, 4?), more power to him…I’ve rarely been able to reason w/my 4 year old when it comes to even putting her Blankie in the washer & just have to endure the yelling.
I would consider altering toady some how so that it still has the same soft plush lovieness but doesn’t so closely resemble a penis.
You could dye it purple or stitch rip until it has a noticeable hole at the tip and then tell her the only way to fix it is to fold it over and sew the tip to the base so that it’s a different shape. ;) She probably cares more about how it feels to snuggle with than how it looks anyway.
I TOTALLY agree with Wicked Stepmom. If he wants it gone, he has to be the one to explain to, honestly and reasonably, why Toady has to go.
I also think he needs to decide why he is giving so much power over his life and his daughter’s happiness to a stuffed animal….
Hmmm. That is one unfortunately-shaped lovey. Since your daughter has deemed Toady worthy of her love, I would be inclined to tell your husband that Toady has to stay.
My son had a soothie pacifier which are one piece so the entire “nipple” area is open at the back. Well he used it as a koteka for awhile …hehe
Also he used to “where’s the penis?” “there it is, peekaboo” when we would change his diaper.
Is it possible that Toady could use some jackets and dresses/shirts? Then it would look less…. phallic.
PS I should add that he never used the soothie for its intended purpose. So don’t get all freaked out about it being in his mouth *lol*
I might suggest that since it would be so absolutely *devastating* if something were to happen to Toady, it should be left at home, where it is safe from loss. (also parental embarrassment, but never mind that, little one, it’s all about you.)
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