Oh, National Geographic. You Had Me At Flashier Tits.

Flashier Great Tits Produce Stronger Sperm, according to a headline at the National Geographic website this morning. But before you run out to buy a Bedazzler for your nursing bra, read the fine print:

Male great tits with brighter breasts have
stronger sperm, according to the first study to find a link between
flashiness and sperm strength. (Related: "Great Tit Birds Shift Mating Schedules Due to Warming.")

The birds'
vibrant plumage appears to act like a flashing billboard, broadcasting
the males' reproductive superiority to females eager to produce
offspring.

Oh. Great Tit birds. Huh.

Still kinda interesting. That 'link between flashiness and sperm strength' thing, though, that's disturbing. I thought that evolution would be culling the douchebag/Ed-Hardy-wearing population.

New hope for Jersey Shore fans, I guess.

National Geographic, via Jezebel.