This Blanket Is Going To Save Your Marriage

There’s an infomercial that’s currently making its way around the Internet – one that claims a product called The Better Marriage Blanket can solve “the problem in the marriage bed that nobody likes to talk about”.

I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it’s probably not the problem you’re thinking it might be.

Your husband’s noxious gas is fixin’ to ruin your marriage, but never fear! The Better Marriage Blanket is here to save the day…and your marriage!

It looks like a regular (read: tacky) comforter on the outside, but it’s one tough mutha blanket on the inside, with a layer of carbon fabric cut from the same cloth the military uses to protect against chemical weapons. Ain’t no stink gonna tread on the sanctity of marriage – this blanket eats chili farts for breakfast, bitches.

The Better Marriage Blanket an ACTUAL PRODUCT, people. This thing is the real deal, and you know there are people out there who are reading this going, FINALLY (I have to admit, while I laughed at the commercial, there was a little voice in the back of my head that piped up and said, Oooh, you gotta buy that, girl!).

For just $29.95 you too can be on your way to a stink-free marital bed! It comes in all sizes, in white or beige. But for Chrissake, do NOT, as the commercial suggests, give this as a wedding or anniversary gift…unless it’s to your own husband. Or your ex, on his wedding day.

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