Things I know for sure:
1. If you have unprotected sex, you will get pregnant. All four times.
2. If you ask your husband to take the trash cans to the curb, he will do it, but not on your schedule — on his. And that’s usually after the trash men have already passed your house.
3. If you tell your kids you’re not kidding this time, that if they don’t stop fighting you’re going to sell them on Craig’s List, you should probably follow through with the threat. Because if you don’t, they’ll never believe you when you say something REALLY important.
4. If you leave your house without wearing shoes, this will also be the day you run out of gas or get a flat tire. And let me tell you, asphalt is HOT in the summer. Plus, you look like a redneck walking down the freeway without shoes.
5. If you’re driving down the road and your 4 year old son tells you he needs to go potty and you say, “can you wait?” and he says, “uh-huh,” don’t believe him. It’s a trick and you’ll end up wiping pee off your car seat with the bottom of your skirt.
6. If you walk into the kitchen to find a huge puddle of yogurt, lemonade, jello, and mustard on the floor, and just then your son walks up behind you holding the mustard bottle, and he insists he didn’t do it? He’s totally full of shit.
7. If you have large dogs who like people food and who also know how to get on the counter you shouldn’t leave your favorite turkey swiss sandwich (with extra pickles) laying there unattended. Unless you’re trying to diet.
8. If you enjoy arguing with teenagers then you should… Well, there’s no getting around this one. If you HAVE teenagers you’re going to argue with them, whether you want to or not.
9. If you have a splitting headache it’s not a good idea to beat your head against the kitchen counter. That will only make it worse.
10. If you’re worried that one day you’ll wake up and wonder how you got where you are, just remember you thought it was a good idea at the time to get drunk.
I think #10 describes my whole life. Awesome list.
Jerseygirl´s last [type] ..Tinkerbell- Registration- and Danielle
Ha! Classic! Great list….I can relate to a few of them
Great post!
singlemama_cc´s last [type] ..Monday’s Minute & I’m the co-host & I’m late
I am going to have to print this and hang it on my door.
Another Suburban Mom´s last [type] ..Random Dozen
love this, especially #10 getting drunk led me to hook up with my husband and thus led me to EXACTLY where I am today, the good the bad and the ugly!!!
lisa´s last [type] ..NEVER SHOUT NEVER
Fairly insightful submit. Never thought that it was this simple after all. I had spent a excellent deal of my time looking for someone to explain this topic clearly and you’re the only 1 that ever did that. Kudos to you! Keep it up
Fairly insightful submit. Never thought that it was this simple after all. I had spent a great deal of my time looking for someone to explain this topic clearly and you’re the only 1 that ever did that. Kudos to you! Keep it up
Hello there! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about making my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Thank you
keyshia cole tattoo wrist,
I am often searching on the web for articles that could aid me. Looking forward to a different terrific blog. Excellent luck to the author! all the very best!
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.