Caillou. Caillou.
Ugh. Just saying his name makes me want to spit.
Caillou is pretty much my number one kiddie-related entertainment nemesis and not just because he’s a whiny little turd whose voice makes me want to stab myself in the ears. OK, that’s not true. It is his whiny little voice that makes detest him more than any other character out there.
Caillou is one of those characters that brings out the worst in me — even more than Barney the frickin’ purple dinosaur. Caillou is so arfing annoying that 98% of the time I refuse to let my 4yo watch his program. But the other 2% of the time, those times that I bend under her pressure, it’s spent wanting to kick his big old round bald head like a football. This makes me feel guilty but not enough to stop from growling when his cue-ball skull pops up on my radar.
So needless to say there were beams of pride radiating from within when my little girl recently announced at the dinner table that Caillou is stupid because he hates vegetables. She declared him a moron, because what kind of person doesn’t like yummy vegetables that make you grow big and strong? OK, maybe she didn’t call him a moron but she did use the word stupid which for the record, is a banned word in our household when used in relation to living things. Standards, I do have them, but the kid had a point: Caillou’s whiny opinion on vegetables is stupid. Obviously that particular vegetable hating episode was created to extol the virtues of good-for-you food but I wouldn’t know, I didn’t make it through the episode for fear of self-harm. Of course maybe I missed a good one; it’s possible that Caillou didn’t eat his vegetables and died of scurvy. Now there’s an episode I’d want to watch.
Anyway. My chest just about burst open again when his bald little popped up on the screen the other day and my girl just blurted out of nowhere ‘Oh that Caillou. I’m going to crush his dreams.’ I have no idea what she meant but I’ll support her any way I can.
CRUSH CRUSH CRUSH CAILLOU’S DREAMS. Consider it my new mantra.
So how about you: which children’s character makes you homicidal? Bad Moms love to share.
About katie
Ruby, of Max and Ruby fame.
mamatulip´s last [type] ..A conversation in the mirror
Ruby, OMG RUBY. She is like every smart-a*s older sibling bad habit rolled into one condescending rabbit. Definitely stabby-inducing.
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
I always wonder what’s going on with their parents. There’s a painting of them in one of the rooms (visible in one episode) and the author insists they are alive but like to let the kids work things out themselves. You know, like baking a cake or having a 3 year old walk to the store himself to get some groceries! Great parents, right?
TechyDad´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- Curse You Perry The Synchronized Platypus Brothers!
Caillou and Ruby, yes. Dora, with all the YELLING and ORDERING ABOUT and wandering around the forest unattended. and the YELLING.
Angelina Ballerina. She’s very whiny. The British accent doesn’t make it any cuter.
Have you ever seen Oobi? It’s not hate as much as it is WTF-edness over the strangeness and annoyingness of it.
Noooooo I don’t know Oobi but I just googled him (her? it? wtf?) and decided they are definitely on my hit list based on weirdness alone. Oobi looks like something created by drunken frat boys who lost their ping-pong paddles.
Angelina Ballerina is intolerable — especially the way she treats others. And Dora, omg, DORA and her football shaped head. Once again it induces strong feelings of needing to kick something HARD.
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
What gets me about Dora isn’t the yelling, but the repetition.
Map: “First you need to go to the silly forest, then over the troll bridge, then to wacky mountain. So you tell dora forest, bridge, mountain. Got it? Forest, bridge, mountain. Forest, bridge, mountain. I’ll say it again in case you didn’t hear me. Forest, bridge, mountain. Forest, bridge, mountain. Forest, bridge, mountain. Did you get it? Forest, bridge, mountain. Forest, bridge, mountaAAAAAAIIIINNN.”(leaps offscreen)
Dora: “Where do we need to go?”
Me: “The map just said it like 50 times? Didn’t you hear it at all? Fine. It said you need to go to crocodile lake and swim across it. But be sure to get the BBQ sauce from Backpack first and pour it all over yourself.”
TechyDad´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- Curse You Perry The Synchronized Platypus Brothers!
I would pay good, good money to see that particular episode of Dora thankyouverymuch :)
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
I know it’s unCanadian, but I don’t love Toupy and effing Binou.
Any guilt of unpatriotic feeling are absolved. Toupy and Binou are like bad LSD trips.
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
Ugh. I understand. And don’t feel bad, this Canadian mama could do without T & B for SURE.
*so happy we canceled our satellite*
Desiree Fawn´s last [type] ..Bon Weekend
When I despair of children’s programming, I go watch The Upside Down Show. It helps.
YES, LOVE THOSE GUYS! Wish they played their rotation more often up here. Must get on Treehouse to do just that.
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
If you like them then you should see some of the non-kiddie stuff they do. Search YouTube for Umbilical Brothers (their non-kiddie group name). Some hilarious stuff there. I just wish they were allowed to make more than 13 episodes of The Upside Down Show.
TechyDad´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- Curse You Perry The Synchronized Platypus Brothers!
I’ve been out of the young child game for a few years (and for quite a few years with my oldest two). It’s my fervent hope that Barney is no longer part of the consciousness of kids. And that Tinky-Winky finally beat the other Tubbies to death with his damn bag and then drowned himself in Tubby custard.
patois´s last [type] ..Ill Be the Least-loved Parent
“Tinky-Winky finally beat the other Tubbies to death with his damn bag and then drowned himself in Tubby custard.” I love you for that quote.
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
Tubbies are out of the picture but have been replaced by the hideous Night Garden things.
mapsgirl´s last [type] ..three for them- some for him- one for me
You mean In the Night Garden wasn’t a hallucination brought on by sleep deprivation? Oh. Mah. Gawd.
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
has to be Ruby… what is with that? she is so bossy, always telling Max what to do. And where are their parents? Shouldn’t someone call Children’s Aid on this family.. the kids are always home alone
Christy aka Imfreckles´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday – Summer at the beach
You don’t know how many times I have said the same things: She IS bossy and yes, where the heck are their parents?
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
I’d also like to add Yo Gabba Gabba to the list.
Funny how most of the shows listed are all on Treehouse. My kids have shifted to Playhouse Disney which seems much more tolerable.
mapsgirl´s last [type] ..three for them- some for him- one for me
Really? Playhouse Disney is more tolerable or have you just been worn down? HA! Stockholm Syndrome Jr. perhaps ;)
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
I didn’t have to read beyond the title. You are my best! friend! ever! for posting this. My son loves this little whiny brat, and it makes my ears bleed.
*fist bump* to a fellow Caillou protester. You are kindred spirit.
katie | motherbumper´s last [type] ..Perhaps The Early Years Were Spent In A Cave Sequested By Luddites Or Not
We should start our own support group.
Max and Ruby – OH MY GOD. I don’t even let the television linger on that channel. Stabborific.
Theresa´s last [type] ..Not My Usual Monday Afternoon
I am surprised that no one mentioned “The Bernstein Bears” . It’s more preachier than the week I went to a vacation bible school at the local Baptist Church”.
I also CAN”T STAND DW on Arthur . She is such a whiny brat. The other characters are ok. I just wish they would kill her off.
I dunno, I kinda liked DW. Maybe it’s just because I was like 12 last time I watched that show, lol. I used to watch cable children’s programming with my younger siblings but it gave me nightmares. Caillou frightened me. Bob the Builder was equally disturbing, and that freaky show with the sheep (Shawn the Sheep?). Anytime I find a Boohbahs doll at a thrift store and it goes off, I resist the urge to shove it under the nearest stack of secondhand bedclothes and smother it to death. I’m reasonably convinced that Dora is demon possessed, but somehow Kai-Lan is ok, not sure why, maybe it’s because I get a kick out of Yeye. Although it does grate on my nerves terribly when she repeats something that just happened and does an instant replay, and the way she says “Rintoo, are you getting angry again?” reminds me of a battered housewife. It really bothers me that all the shows I really liked watching on even PBS are gone- Dragon was a really fun little preschool show. Jane and the Dragon rocked. Pocoyo was funny and touching and very gentle while still teaching valuable lessons effectively. I’ve lost faith in television programming since becoming a parent. I find what shows I can on DVD and purchase them. It eventually gets old and I start playing Hello Kitty’s Furrytale Theatre in French just so I don’t have to hear it one more time, but it seems a workable solution. And I hopefully never have to hear the theme to Bakugan unexpectedly play in Dragon’s timeslot again.
How has nobody mentioned Waybuloo? Submitting to water torture and having bamboo shoots driven through my body would be preferable to watching that nonsensical crap. It would be relaxing in comparison…
In the Night Garden makes me literally nauseous with all the squeaking and nails-on-the-board like singing that Upsy Daisy does. Toopy And Binoo I have to leave the room for which is hard since we live in a 900 sqft open plan apartment. Caillou…you have said everything that needs to be said, except how frustratingly reasonable his parents always are! Adults NEVER get angry or frustrated, ever with whiny little turds for kids and they never call their girlfriends in tears wondering why they are being punished with that kid, right? Ever. My bet is that Caillou’s mom smokes a hefty amount of pot offscreen.
A. I, too, despise Caillou and his tiny little bald head and ear-piercing voice. B. I love the word “stabby.”
Another cartoon character that makes my butt clench– Gerald from Sid the Science Kid. She said it’s RUG TIME, so SIT DOWN!
Heather Slee´s last [type] ..Working at Home
I love Caillou,..
Cailou was a cancer patient
I hate that bald-headed bastard. e is rude to his mother, his little sister and an all-around brat. He wouldn’t last 5 minutes with my Dad
Caillou and his family possess great family values – it’s a wholesome show. People that find him irritating need to relax and take a chill pill – they’re too high strung! Probably similar to that asian tiger mom.