Bad Moms Don’t Care If Suri Has A Binky, And Neither Should You

By on March 9, 2011

So apparently Suri Cruise was spotted this past weekend with a binky. I don’t know about you, but I could really not possibly care less.

But not everyone is me – more’s the pity – and it seems that a whole lot of people are outraged, outraged, that Katie Holmes would allow her child – no longer a baby, no longer even a toddler – to comfort herself with this most infantile of objects. After all, binkies are for babies. Pacifiers are for pacifying small beings who cannot be pacified by means of direct communication, as can, say, a four or five year old. But is this fair? I mean, sure, I wouldn’t want my daughter, who is just some months older than Suri, clutching the ‘soovy’ (as we called it.) In our case, the ‘Soovy Fairy’ came when Emilia was about two and a half and took the beloved soovy to give to other babies and left a bicycle (don’t judge me) in its place and we’ve never looked back. (Jasper gave up the soovy of his own accord at about a year and a half of age, which saved us buying another bicycle, although did deprive the Soovy Fairy of some stock.) BUT STILL: that’s just us. I don’t know what goes on behind the closed doors of the Cruise-Holmes household – nor do I want to – but whatever it is that they do there, however it is that they parent, it’s none of my business. Maybe the binky is Suri’s lovey – Emilia still carries her lovey – maybe Katie thinks that it’s a better option for comfort than is, say, a lollipop, or a Starbuck’s frappuccino. The point is, we don’t know. And we shouldn’t care.

And even if we do care, what’s the harm in keeping it to ourselves? Parents in glass houses, after all – and we all of us live in glass houses; we all make choices that someone else would disagree with – shouldn’t throw stones.

About Her Bad Mother

Bad is the new good.


  1. Angella says:

    Emily sucks her thumb and she’s four and a half. I almost wish she had a soother instead so that the Soovy Fairy could come. She mostly sucks it at bedtime but if she’s tired and we’re out in public? You should see the looks and hear the comments I get…
    Angella´s last [type] ..Girly Girls

  2. Tracy says:

    Amen, sister. I saw the picture, and for a MOMENT, thought, “what the…?” But then I thought, “oh, who cares?” She’ll outgrow it eventually, I imagine. And like you say so well, many people have disagreed with decisions I’ve made about my kids, and they seem perfectly happy and well adjusted to me.

  3. GingerB says:

    I can possibly tell you why – because Scientologists view children as little adults – full blown people in small bodies. So they get to make a lot more decisions than the kids of non Scientology parents, decisions that many of us would reserve for parents. I am partially in the know on this approach because my husband is in Scientology. Frankly, I think it is a lousy approach. Spend a day with a child of any age and ask yourself if you’d let that person make all significant life choices – judging from average habits for making choices about say food, shelter, clothing, or tooth brushing, most kids lack the capacity to make good calls on a lot of topics. I don’t really care that Suri has a binky, but I am furious that my husband’s exwife asked my stepson if he wanted to do speech therapy and because he said no, he doesn’t. So he’ll become an adult still sounding like the seven year old he was when I met him, and people will judge him for how he communicates, and he made the decision from a point of view that does not include any adult perspective about how this will affect his life in the long run. In my house, we don’t let the kids make decisions better left to adults, because I am not just the mom and I say so, and am the BAD mom and my word is law. Off soapbox, headed now for late night mac ‘n’ cheese snack, because I always make solid decisions, myself.
    GingerB´s last [type] ..and her little world turned upside down

  4. kelly @kellynaturally says:

    There’s the distinct possibility that this photo was… photoshopped for media shock-value (not by you guys).

    But that possibility aside, kids have a need to suck and for repetative soothing motions (like hair twirling or blankie rubbing) that go beyond infancy. I wouldn’t blink at a child breastfeeding at age four or carrying around a sippy cup or stuffed animal, why does it matter so much if she has a pacifier?
    kelly @kellynaturally´s last [type] ..Wordless Wednesday- Spring Geocaching


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