Look, I don’t have anything against beards, really. I know that I’ve spilled a few words here about not loving them, but I don’t, like, hate them. Some perfectly wonderful men have beards. Gandalf! Dumbledore! Santa!
That said – and I’m really not trying to suggest a conspiracy or anything here – ever notice that all the good dads on television are clean-shaven?
Ward Cleaver: clean-shaven.
Cliff Huxtable: clean-shaven.
Mike Brady: terrible, terrible hair, but still… CLEAN-SHAVEN.
Mr. Drummond: complete absence of facial hair.
Dan Connor: you get the picture.
Now, I suppose that it must be said that Tony Soprano, Homer Simpson and Al Bundy were also all clean-shaven, and that complicates my theory a little, but still. Where are the bearded dads? I ASK YOU.
No, really: I ask you. Can you think of any TV dads that weren’t clean-shaven? Also: this is totally where I mention the Bic Flex 4 razor, which stands firmly on the side of well-groomed male faces, and also some lady legs, and Bic in general, which has underwritten my exploration into all things stubbly this month. Thank you, Bic!