This story tore my heart out and stomped it in to the living room floor.
A 19 year old woman walked in to a Chicago area fire station on Monday carrying a six month old baby. Miserable and wretched, she handed her baby to the firefighters and told them she couldn’t care for her child anymore. She needed to give them her baby.
She didn’t explain why.
She waited until the firefighters called an ambulance and that ambulance showed up to take her baby to the hospital. Then she walked away.
She knew that the firefighters would take her baby under the Safe Haven law. The law that means that a woman can drop off her baby with authorities, no questions asked, and walk away. The law for mothers who are overwhelmed and scared. The law for mothers who are worried, desperately worried about what they will do – or not do. Safe haven laws exist so that women can leave their babies in the hands of responsible authorities without facing judgment, recrimination, the shamed eyes of a court system or family.
The only problem? The safe haven law only technically applies for babies under 30 days old. And this baby was six months old.
Because apparently if women are going to decide to be overwhelmed and desperate and willing to leave their own child in the hands of strangers, they’d better decide to do it in a time limit. Your breakdown needs to be under strict parameters, lady. After that you’re just plain Bad. If they find this woman, she may even face charges, despite the fact that the Safe Haven law specifically says No Questions Asked. Her baby was too old, so they might arrest her. For ugly things. Abandonment. Endangerment. Badness.
Except, isn’t handing your child over to people who will take care of him or her when you are incapable of doing so, being the best mother you could possibly be?
(I mean, sure, the woman who tried dropping off her 14 and 17 year old children under the law was pushing it. But let’s get real, here: 30 days isn’t the limit of difficult parenting or postpartum depression; of struggles, issues and any number of overwhelming problems that could cause a woman to believe she is unable to care properly for her child.)
So, Chicago, leave her alone. Or if you’re going to find her, then help her. Find out her story. Find out why she was so overwhelmed that she needed to leave her child at a fire station. And see if there’s something good that can come out of it, instead of shame and judgment.
About Shannon
Would they rather that young women finding themselves in this situation drop their kid in a dumpster? She found a place that she knew would take care of her baby – and I can’t imagine that it didn’t break her heart to leave him there. I hope that they do find her, and they do help her. Pressing charges against her wouldn’t benefit anyone, let alone the child.
Jessica´s last [type] ..Booooooooooooo!
How incredibly awful is it to think that mothers are in this position to start with. My heart goes out to this woman and I hope as well that she is left in peace. If anything, this should prompt investigation into supports available to women through this first difficult year.
julia´s last [type] ..On Privilege and Choices
Just the fact that she brought the baby there for safety’s sake, facing the shame and judgement, let alone WAIT for the ambulance come to safely recieve the baby proves she not only cares about the little one but LOVES it. Even if she is battling demons right now, the biggest one being her own self, doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. In my opinion this mother, barely more than a child herself showed great courage and strength. I wish I could tell her that, let her know she did the right thing. Even if our society is so coroded it feels it needs to punish her instead of commend her and try to help her get it back together and maybe after the pieces have been swept up, get her child back. Such a heartbreaking shame that these asshat authorities have publicly put a scalding hot spotlight to the fact that this law will not be a “safe haven”, there will be questions, reprecussions. They have put who knows how many babies lives on the line. Blessings to all those suffering by themselves.