Well, we don’t promote lying in our house, but we do leave crucial information out. Our kids are getting older and with that comes the idea that we should keep them in the loop on what’s going on. One example: They now understand the concept of time, so we can tell them about an upcoming event without them asking every two minutes if that event is NOW. Yes, they get excited about it, and yes, they do mention it w whole lot, but it’s not to the stab a fork in my ear drum level.
Well, we could do that for awhile. Our middle son is now dealing with anxiety, and now even good! and fun! events cause him to clutch his stomach and squirt into the toilet. We now just wait until the day of said event and let him know once we get there that, HEY. We’re here! No time to stress! Whee!
We also don’t tell them things that are big changes ahead of the time when said changes are happening. I was laid off from my job on Tuesday (effective May 1st) and have options, but I know that if I told my eldest about it, he would worry. We’ll be fine, we’re not going to starve, and I’ll probably be far happier than I have for the past two years. He won’t understand all of that, nor will his younger siblings, so we’re not saying a word.
There are a hundred different (minor) examples of where we’ve deliberately left details out. Because while we want to be completely honest with our kids, sometimes it’s better to stay silent.
How about you? Do you lie to your children (apart from Santa/Easter Bunny/Tooth Fairy)? Do you withhold information? Or do you tell them everything?
About Angella
Liar-liar-pants-on-fire! Yep, that’s me…especially if you consider withholding information a form of lying too. I cannot fathom how exhausting it would be to ALWAYS keep young children in the loop and NEVER tell a white lie and then field the billions of questions that will inevitably follow. We are very open and honest with our kids and I enjoy answering their questions and explaining things to them but they don’t need to know every little thing…especially about every “grown up” issue that their parents have. I think that giving them too much information too soon can do more harm than good…especially if your child tends to be anxious or worry (I have one of those too). Doing what is best for your family makes you a good parent…no matter what anyone else thinks. This is Bad Mom’s Club, right? :)
In my case, I would happily tell my kids everything but there’s always a limit to the amount of information especially those sensitive topics that shouldn’t be discussed deliberately. How old are your kids now?
Thanks for sharing this parent-child issue.
-Eva
Eva F.´s last [type] ..how to pick up girls