If you know me in real life, you know that I am an introverted extrovert, with a bit of a fiery streak. It takes me a lot to get worked up, or even angry, but when it happens, it isn’t pretty.
Don’t make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.
It is so very rare that I do get angry, and it is usually after the kids are in bed, while I’m venting to my husband. BLAH BLAH BLAH (INSERT RANDOM OFFENSE HERE) BLAH BLAH BLAH.
This past week, my husband has been away on a conference. I don’t sleep well in general when he’s away (Noises! Scary noises!) and when he’s away, all three of my kids want to sleep over in my room. We lock the door to downstairs, we lock the door to the deck, and we hunker down. I also get feet to the ribs, smacks to the face, and kids inching so close that I wake up clinging to the edge of the mattress, wondering how I didn’t end up landing on the floor.
The kids and I have been dealing with the absence of our favorite guy, lack of sleep, and changes to our usual routine. Throw in the fact that my “monthly time” decided to arrive this week and I have not been on my best behaviour.
One example: “STOP YELLING. YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP. YELLING. *ANGRY EYES*”
I am the opposite of proud. Those rare moments have made me feel pretty awful, but I have to remind myself that it’s not a usual week and that I’ve dropped the ball on pretty much everything in order to play Uno and Scrabble and watch American Idol (they LOVE it) and cuddle on the couch and treat them to ice cream and read with them and just be here while Dad is away.
I’m still not excited about the raised voice (multiple times), though. Thankfully, my husband will be home by the time you read this, and balance will be restored to my/our world.
Do you lose your temper with your kids? What ignites it?
About Angella
I have been losing my temper with my kids a lot lately, and feeling really guilty about it after the fact. There are a few things at play: my 7 year old is going through a phase where he seems to need the last word on everything, my 3 year old is being a typical 3 year old developing her own attitude, the two of them know which buttons to push with each other. When I’m at work and think about them, I make a pledge that I’m going to be patient, not yell, have fun with them, etc. — then I get home and the whining, fighting with each other, etc. starts and I often go back down the wrong path and let frustration take over. Something needs to change. My kids are generally great kids and fun to be around – I need to get over this phase of having more patience and thinking of better ways to deal with them (and my own frustration) so that I can be the mom I want to be.
Also – surely your example of “STOP YELLING. YOU GUYS NEED TO STOP. YELLING. *ANGRY EYES*” is not the worst example you have?? If so, then you don’t have anything to worry about :-).
Laura
I totally lose my temper to level one (this girl’s temper has levels, thankfully it takes more than my children to push me past level one) with our kids. I HATE that I sometimes yell at them, I HATE that they have the ability to make me angry, I HATE that I sometimes have to apologize for that behaviour (because I believe my humility will teach them humility and the ability to admit a mistake), I HATE that I’m not perfect. Then I hear that someone else did it too, my kids kiss me and say “Momma you’re the best!” and I think, “Hmm, maybe I do love them more than I get upset with them, maybe I am the best Mom for them, maybe I’m not a total screw up…”
But it still helps to know I’m not alone and neither are you.
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Oh, yeah, I lose my temper sometimes. It really does feel awful. I’ve been working at not beating myself up about it, though. Instead, I try to figure out why I got to that point and how I can prevent it, or at least lessen it, in the future. Like you, a big thing that gets me raging is lack of support. This can be when my husband is working extra long hours or when I haven’t had a moment to myself in too long. When I’m overwhelmed and alone, I get resentful and ANGRY at the situation. Then I’m much less patient with my son. I don’t like myself when I’m like that, but like I said, I find it’s easier to deal with it if I focus on reparations and not wallow in self-pity and guilt.