Bad Moms Have Celebrity Crushes

My husband has jetted off to Calgary for yet another conference, and what better way to fill the void of his absence than by writing about my celebrity crushes? None. It’s either this, or diving face-first into a bag of Doritos (Sweet Chili heat is my flavour of choice). This option is ZERO calories. Win!

One thing that my husband and I often joke about is our “Top Five” list of celebrity crushes. We both know that we’ll never meet them, but refuse to laminate the list just in case. I find it amusing that his top ladies look NOTHING LIKE ME. (See: Rachel McAdams, Mila Kunis, Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, and Jessica Biel.)

My list, however, are dudes with similar qualities to my husband. Tall, well-built, great sense of humor, ability to sport the scruffy look, musical talent a bonus. Let’s begin.

#1. Ryan Gosling.

I’d like to be all hipster and tell you that I liked Ryan Gosling before Ryan Gosling was even born, and that could be true because (I’m five years older, and) he was born in my Grandma’s home town (Cornwall, Ontario), but it’s not true. I can tell you that he’s hot, and funny, and one of the best actors of this generation.

Did I mention that he’s hot? And funny? And talented?

I spent yesterday afternoon “researching” him for this article, and got lost in a YouTube rabbit hole of Ryan interviews. Go, watch, and I’m sorry for the hours you will lose. But not really. Thank me later.

He’s also a musician which, well. It doesn’t get any better than that. He also sings about ghosts and zombies. For real. I’ll stop now, before I get all fangirl and embarrass myself.

(Ryan. Call me. It’s totally kosher. Not that I’m Jewish, but you know what I mean. Oh, heck. I will die a slow and cheek-burning death should you ever read this.)

Ahem.

(He’s on the Twitter, for those of you who tweet.)

(I’m finished stalking him. For today.)

#2. John Krasinski

John’s not a new crush, and even made it on my Friday Eye Candy post over at Mama Pop three years ago.

Smart, funny, witty, and an amazing writer and actor. Have you seen Away We Go? No? GET THEE TO NETFLIX.

SRSLY.

(John isn’t on Twitter. Yeah, I don’t know either.)

#3 Bradley Cooper

Rugged good looks and hilarious roles aside, DUDE SPEAKS FRENCH.

And not “English Canada French.” He lived in France and learned the language.

*Slow exhale*

(He’s also not on Twitter. Celebrities, man.)

#4 Gerard Butler

I’d say more, but I’m over here fanning myself. BRB.

(I thought I found him on Twitter! But no. Sigh.)

#5. Craig Ferguson.

Said in my best Scottish accent: “The Hell?”

What can I say? We finally discovered Craig last fall and I think that my husband and I have equal crushes on him. Not in the “I want to dirty things to you” like the four above, but in the ‘I want to have you over for dinner and laugh until I (almost) pee.’

Also. My Mom’s second husband was Scottish, so. To hear Craig say my name would be (beyond) weird. And a little bit creepy.

(Craig is all about the Tweets and emails.)

Who are your celebrity crushes?