Because someone, somewhere, thinks that your parenting sucks. Might as well celebrate it.
You’re still shopping, aren’t you? Or rather, you haven’t started. Don’t worry; you’re me, half the time. (The other half of the time I feel way too ambitious then use the energy to radically overcompensate and buy way too many presents too early and end up with way too many copies of the same book [...]
I know that a lot – a lot – of things are very difficult when you have very small children. Grocery shopping with two bored and rangy kids makes going to the dentist seem relaxing. Being a short order cook for picky preschoolers is enough to drive you to the nearest drive-through. And it is [...]
Look, world! Here’s the “real” Angelina Jolie. She’s in her own clothes! She’s not wearing makeup! She is carrying her own six year old handbag! Translation: Wow, this is how good she looks when she really should look like hell. Why don’t you look like this, too? Yes, this afternoon springs upon us yet another [...]
I have mixed feelings about Tyra Banks. On the hand, she’s batshit and she humiliates young women for sport. On the other, I really can’t stop watching ANTM – which makes me a terrible person, I know, but SERIOUSLY – and also, she makes videos like the one below, which not only provides the tremendous [...]
Rule number one for the social media mother, or any mother, or anyone, who carries a lot of stuff: learn how to accessorize. No, not with purses and handbags. With bags for tech gear, and everything else that you carry that won’t fit into your knock-off Fendi clutch. (Ha. You’re a mother. Like you carry [...]
I thought I was being so smart. Have you ever tried to dress a kid? Seriously, it’s EXPENSIVE. Kids’ clothes cost a fortune, and even more of a fortune because you’re replacing it every time you turn around. I can remember buying stuff for my newborn at Baby Gap, such as $30 jeans that were [...]
Bathing suit shopping, as any woman can tell you, is basically the wardrobe equivalent of walking over hot coals. You go in to the shop with the impossibly thin mannequins modeling scraps of spandex held together with plastic rings and dental floss. You pick out the suits that you think will cover the parts you [...]
Look, people, it’s an absurd world out there. Completely absurd. And every absurdity is being captured by the lens of reality TV. Homeless men can get broadcasting jobs and free homes just by pitching a guy with a flipcam at a traffic light. Adult, seemingly sane women “compete” to marry a man who’s been sleeping [...]
So, Lady Gaga arrived at the Grammys last night in what everybody was calling an egg, but what I think looked more like an egg-shaped placenta, and really, wouldn’t a placenta be more her style? You tell me: Either way, it’s clearly a commentary on postmodern motherhood and the childbirth industrial complex. That model in [...]
I should probably re-phrase that question: did Victoria Beckham get pregnant just to be in Vogue MAGAZINE? (AMERICAN Vogue magazine, that is.) Because, of course it’s in vogue to have babies. That’s what People magazine and TMZ and Celebrity Baby Scoop tell us, anyway. Having babies is cool! Just ask Natalie Portman and Rachel Zoe [...]
There are many ways in which motherhood changes a person. Many of these things are physical, like the squashy belly and the saggy boobs and – heaven forbid – the Mom Hair. It’s a fate we all succumb to, sooner or later. With a toddler nipping at my ankles, I just don’t have time for [...]
I told you that I ordered it. I didn’t lie. I love it. I adore it. I wear it every single day, unless I have to go out, and even then I dither endlessly about whether I could maybe get away with wearing it to pick Emilia up from the bus if I had a [...]
Oh my god, you guys. I want this for Christmas. I am totally not joking. Actually, in the time that it took me to upload that picture, I ordered one for myself. No, really. Like I’m waiting to see if Santa brings me one. Santa always messes that shit up. And I want one NOW; [...]
This post is from The Bad Files (Back Of The Cabinet) which means, yes, we dug this up from two years ago. But come on: it is AWESOME. Really, really awesome. Make sure you read all the way to the bottom. Or at least scroll down to the bottom picture. What happens when you combine [...]
Because, really, who hasn’t wanted to shriek MAKE IT WORK when their four year old throws their daily morning IMMA WEAR WHAT I WANT hissy fit? Or is that just me? via/ source
Toronto October 13 - 15