The Brief Safe: A New Way To Keep Little Hands Off Of Mommy’s Chocolate
It dawned on me this weekend, after I discovered my son hunched in a corner of the dining room working on a mouthful of *MY* Tootsie Rolls: I am running out of hiding spots in my own home. My son is very sneaky and his sister has hawk’s eyes; together, they are a formidable team. [...]
Multi-tasking! Not A Myth With The Baby Mop
Babies are pretty lazy. I mean: yes, they are growing and discovering and learning and the like, and they are kind of cute if you’re in to that kind of thing (I am), but overall, what else do they actually do besides drink, poop, scream, and sleep all while someone else takes care of all [...]
This Blanket Is Going To Save Your Marriage
There’s an infomercial that’s currently making its way around the Internet – one that claims a product called The Better Marriage Blanket can solve “the problem in the marriage bed that nobody likes to talk about”. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that it’s probably not the problem you’re thinking it [...]
The Best Or Worst Grocery List Ever: You Decide!
Whenever I’m at the grocery store and I pick a cart that has someone’s discarded shopping list still in it, I always take a look at it. Because I’m nosy like that – I’m always curious about what other people are buying for their families. This list, apparently found in a Seattle parking lot, reads [...]
Next Up, Jelly Bean Side Tables
Because if you haven’t sufficiently infantilized your household decor with the Lego kitchen counter, you could always take things a step further and install a gummi bear chandelier. No, wait, sorry: CANDelier. Get it? Ha ha ha ha *sugar crash* It’s actually kind of pretty. But my kid would – no exaggeration – stack furniture [...]
Martha To The Rescue!
Martha, Martha, Martha… first she came out with the magazine that took the simple and made it complicated in the most beautiful way possible. Then she hosted a television show that animated the unattainable lifestyle from her magazine for those too lazy to read about it. Personally her stuff made me feel worse about myself [...]
Dear Martha: Crafts With Panties? Not A Good Thing
Oh my god, you guys! Martha Stewart is reading our blog! I mean, she must be. How else do you explain demonstrating how to make a panty bouquet? That's totally how we were going to mock her flower-arranging demonstrations. She must have spies, and they must be keeping an eye on our Bad Housekeeping (formerly [...]
Respect The Snowball. And The Candy Wrappers. And The Dust Bunnies And The Ribbons And…
Does your child keep seemingly worthless stuff around and treat it like treasure? My daughter does. She has candy wrappers from last Valentine's Day stuffed in her purse. And as a somewhat-defeated clean freak trying to hang onto my last shred of tidiness dignity, it has made me darn near batty knowing she has these [...]
The Tale of the Clean House and Dirty Mind
Recently I read one of those articles that made me say "Well duh. I could have told you that without all the research." A study in the Journal of Family Issues concluded that the more time both members of a married couple spent doing chores, the more often they had sex. I like to call [...]
Bad Mom Decor: More Stuff I Won’t Let My Kid Touch
Once again I have found a piece of furniture that I would not let my daughter touch, just like the chocolate couch from last week. Did I mention it was chocolate? CHOCOLATE. But this piece of home decor is different (also: not edible) — this one would totally fulfill all of my Han Solo cravings, [...]
