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Gwyneth Paltrow Is Above The FTC Law But You Sure As Hell Aren’t

By on January 13, 2010 24 Comments

Oh hey, do you remember the December post that we should have called "HA HA HA GWYNETH FAIL!" but because we are 'mature' and 'restrained' Catherine just called it "GOOPtastic: One More Reason To Be Irritated By Gwyneth Paltrow"? Fuck maturity and restraint, Gwyneth just gave me MORE reason to loathe her goopy existence.

Filed under: Bad Doesn't Mean Stupid, Bad Moms Don't Judge, Bad Moms Sometimes Judge But Feel Bad About It, Bad Rants, GOOPtastic, Speechless, We Can't Make This Stuff Up

2020 Vision: Out Of The Mouth Of Babes

By on January 12, 2010 2 Comments

What do you get when you ask a bunch of kids to tell you what the world is going to be like in ten years? A lot of freaky but realistic stuff and a huge dose of creepiness, that's what. A group of children, ages 13 and under, were asked to predict the not-so distant [...]

Filed under: Bad Rants, Bad Stuff, Literacy Is Overrated, This Stuff Is Awesome, We Can't Make This Stuff Up

Tom Cruise One-Ups Parents Everywhere. Also: He’s Crazy.

By on January 12, 2010 19 Comments

Wow, I'm all about judgment this week at The Bad Moms Club. First it was Crafts! With Placenta! Now it's Tom Cruise! Indulgence to the Extreme! I know I shouldn't judge, I don't want to judge, but OMFG, I can't help but judge. I'm only human, dammit.

Filed under: Bad Dads, Bad Moms Don't Judge, Bad Moms Sometimes Judge But Feel Bad About It, Bad Rants, Bad Stuff, Even We Have Standards, Speechless, We Can't Make This Stuff Up, What Is Wrong With You People?

Have Giant Stuffed Plush Phallus, Will Travel

By on January 11, 2010 21 Comments

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but my daughter has a lovey that is – how to put this? – somewhat unconventional. Toady – aka The Phallic Lovely – is what remains of a plush Pottery Barn stacking toy. Toady was the – ahem – shaft of this toy. Toady causes my husband [...]

Filed under: Bad Moms Don't Judge, Bad Moms Sometimes Judge But Feel Bad About It, Bad Moms Wanna Know, Bad Rants, We Can't Make This Stuff Up, We Should Know Better

Panda Moms: They’re Just Like Us!

By on January 4, 2010 3 Comments

Baby pandas are pretty cute. Cuter than human babies, almost, although I suppose that one's position on that depends upon how many times one's human baby has woken one up the previous night and how appealing, exactly, the option of tossing one's offspring in a zoo-cage to be tended by a keeper seems to one.

Filed under: Bad 101, Bad Rants, We Can't Make This Stuff Up

Bad Flicks: So, J-Lo, A Vampire, And A Turkey Baster Walk Into A Bar…

By on December 23, 2009 1 Comment

Oh, look. Another movie about a woman getting pregnant and feeling all conflicted because! Is she ready? She is! But! There's a Guy! Is he ready? Maybe! Not! No! Wait! What will they do? HIJINKS ENSUE. (Trailer after the jump…)

Filed under: Bad Rants, Bad Stuff, We Can't Make This Stuff Up, YouTubeorama

Lady Gaga Is A MILF! Or A Wig-Wearing Heel-Loving Monster-Owner, Which, Same Thing

By on December 15, 2009 6 Comments

I’m not sure exactly what it means to call Lady Gaga a ‘school run mom’ (anyone, anyone?), as one UK blog did last week, but I do know what ‘yummy mummy‘ means and its use in reference to Lady Gaga just confuses me, not least because she doesn’t have children, but also because, what?

Filed under: Bad Rants, We Can't Make This Stuff Up

Spam Of The Day: Benadryl, Is That You?

By on December 3, 2009 3 Comments

Oh, Benadryl. I knew that you’d find my blog eventually. And I knew that, some day, you’d find a way to find me and to whisper sweet nothings about how just a teeny, weeny bit of the antihistamine sauce can settle a toddler right down to sleep.

Filed under: Bad Rants, We Can't Make This Stuff Up