I told you that I ordered it. I didn’t lie.

I love it. I adore it. I wear it every single day, unless I have to go out, and even then I dither endlessly about whether I could maybe get away with wearing it to pick Emilia up from the bus if I had a puffy coat and tucked into boots. (For the record, I tried this once, but didn’t make it out the door. I looked like a demented, winterized Teletubby. It’s the drop crotch that ruins everything. One cannot sport a fleece drop-crotch outfit without looking like an animated character, or MC Hammer conducting an ill-considered experiment in loungewear.)

I want it in every color. Santa, are you listening? I WANT THIS IN EVERY COLOR.

Then I just need to construct my Mom Cave, stock it with Buffy DVDs and vodka, and you’ll never hear from me again.

How many of you went to camp as a kid?

I did. After my parents divorced, my mother sent me to a day camp through the summer so she could work, and I really enjoyed it, for the most part. I loved playing Capture the Flag and singing camp songs (many of which I still remember to this day!), but the one thing I hated was the big sleepover weekend at the end of the summer. I remember having to sleep in old, smelly canvas tents that leaked when it rained, and it rained EVERY TIME. I hated sleeping in those tents with a bunch of stinky campers and I hated the feeling of being alone – just us kids and our teenage camp councilors – out in middle of nowhere – as a kid, it really freaked me out.

My strong dislike of sleepover camp is what makes me want to pick up the book P.S. I Hate It Here, a collection of letters that kids wrote to their parents while away at camp. Well, that and the fact that I think this book will be a pretty hysterical read. The letters that make up the book are scans of the original ones sent, like this one:

Wow, the first four days of camp must have been pretty rough for Josh if the rash on his p-nus was preventing him from running.

(Also? EGGS!)

Sounds like Olivia is having a blast!

Perhaps Harry’s mother should send a first aid kit along with that winde up flashlight.

P.S. I Hate It Here is totally going on my Christmas Wish List. I laughed so hard reading these three sample letters that I may have peed myself a little.

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Have you ever looked down at your child’s stroller and thought to yourself, ‘Man, I wish this thing turned in to a bicycle’?

Check this out -

From Taga, it’s a bike – one that you can ride safely with your child – that also doubles as a stroller. It’s the only product on the planet that complies with stroller AND bicycle standards.

(There is no freakin’ way I could turn it from a bike to a stroller in twenty seconds. It takes me half an hour to assemble the bloody Kinder Surprise, you know?)

At about $1,400, it’s insanely expensive, but still very, very cool.

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One of the hardest things about motherhood is all the crap you have to lug. There’s the diaper bag and the stroller and your purse and…oh yeah, THE BABY. There is no more “running in the grocery store for a quick sec.” Now it’s a Broadway Production complete with Migraine Headache.

It’s awesome.

I’ve been doing this whole mom thing for 16 years. (Please note the bags under my eyes. There are 16. I’m like a tree, for cryin’ out loud). And when I started oh-so-long ago, there weren’t nearly the amount of gadgets that there are now. In a way, I feel cheated.

I mean, there was no diaper wipe warmer, or baby sling, or God forbid a Diaper Genie. No. We had to actually place the dirty diaper IN THE GARBAGE PAIL. (*insert gasp here*)

So now that I’m past the baby stage (for the most part; I mean, do they ever *really* grow up?) I have no use for the latest and greatest inventions.

BUT!

I do have a use for things like THIS.

It looks like a purse but is actually Mom's Best Friend

Dude.

I’m all over this.

It’s perfect for soccer games and piano recitals and cheer competitions and Sunday School and… well, the sky’s the limit if you ask me.

And the best part?

I bet it’s also *perfect* for dispensing breast milk. Or Cosmopolitans. Whatever.

Inventions like these are exactly the reason I became a mom.

Oh. And because I thought motherhood would be fun.

I never said I was a genius.

It’s a tyrannicornus rex! A unisauruscorn! An awesometasticornus! Made out of CHOCOLATE!

Hand-delivered by the Easter Velociraptorchaun in a basket woven from the gold found at the end of the rainbow. Don’t tell your kids.

.

.

.

Where do I get one? Because, seriously.

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And now a word from one of our sponsors…

If you’re pregnant, or just had a baby – and you’re Canadian (ed. note: yes! a contest that is, finally, for Canadians!) – you’ll want to be part of our HUGGIES “Happy Healthy Baby” party, sponsored by Huggies, Playskool, WhereParentsTalk.com, and Heritage RESPs!   Have a house party any time between April 24^th and May 30^th and share in a free party pack for you and your friends. (ed. note: party! huzzah!)

Fill out the online host application, and enter a draw to win one of 8 Heritage RESPs each valued at approximately $2,500. In addition we’ll be giving away a Personal Chef dinner for four at home (value $600) from the Chef Alliance for our new mom and family, as well as one toy gift pack from Playskool (value $250).

If you’re selected as one of only 500 party hosts across the country, you’ll receive a Party Pack filled with lots of free goodies for you and your friends (ed. note: free stuff!) and truly be the “Host with the most!

Visit our website at www.readysetparty.ca to find out more about this fun-filled cross-Canada event.

*(eds.: we are so devoted to diapers that we have changed them 1. in the backseat of a GM Traverse somewhere on the back roads of Kentucky when we were too afraid to stop at a gas station in the little town that boasted human skulls (fake? real?) on the patios of most of the houses, 2. on a standing toddler behind a bench at the Toronto zoo, 3. on the sidewalk in downtown Nashville, having cadged one from a passer-by, 4. roadside in Jasper National Park, and 5. thru 50,000. at home, at restaurants, in shopping malls, in parks, and pretty much everywhere a baby or toddler might relieve him or herself. So, yeah. We’ve used a lot of diapers. Many of them Huggies.)

Yes, cupcakes, with Brain Slugs (Futurama anyone? I used to have time to spend on watching those shows before I had a baby). Not real ones, but still.

Oh hell, I'd still eat these cupcakes even if the slugs were real because brain slugs can't possibly do any more damage than the sleep deprivation due to parenting has done on my gray matter.

Screw it, parenting is sometimes like having a brain slug attached to your psyche, so why not eat cake? Cupcake with yummy, brain numbing slugs on it.

Mmmmmm brain slugs *drooooooooool*

Don't lie. You know you'd eat them.

source via neatorama

A young Canadian boy from Newfoundland drew a picture that became the 'official policy in Antarctica' for a British research facility in the South Pole after the image becoming popular  on the web.

This right here is an excellent example of the positive power of internet.

The boy, who is in grade two, and autistic, drew a picture after witnessing an adult clearing away an inflatable penguin with a swift kick to it's inflatable snowballs.

The young boy was obviously not impressed and it inspired him to draw a picture of a penguin being kicked with a HUGE slash through it to symbolize 'NO KICKING!'

Then for emphasis he wrote the words 'No Kicking Penguins' around the outside.

When his uncle saw this awesome drawing and its message, he posted it for the world to see on Reddit and from there it just took off. Eventually it ended up becoming the official policy of all those in the British team stationed in Antarctica (who probably spend a lot of time on the internet) (but hopefully not kicking penguins).

And it is a good policy if I do say so myself.

These days all sales from t-shirts bearing his drawing will go to different autism societies. This month it's a US society and February it will be in the boy's home province of Newfoundland. T-shirts can be purchased from the No Kicking Penguins website (of course!)

source via neatorama

In my opinion, remakes of popular movies usually suck. I mean, why try to perfect or modernize something already successful?

But there are exceptions and the following remake sounds like one, albeit one that I maybe won't be able to take my kid to:

Tim Burton is rumored to be remaking Disney's Sleeping Beauty.

A live-action Sleeping Beauty.

Picture it: Helen Bonham-Carter as Maleficent? Yes please. Johnny Depp as King Stefan? Nice touch. Oh I could do this casting all the live long day.

Anyway. Not only is Tim 'I will bend then blow your mind' Burton supposedly remake Sleeping Beauty, he will put a total twist on the story.

Whispers at Ain't It Cool News say he would tell it from Maleficent's point of view. How awesome does that sound?

One must wonder why Maleficent is so bitter. Why was she snubbed by the royal family? Why do those three fairy live in fear of her actions? Where does she buy her clothes? Who trains her minions or is that a package deal at the Evil-R-Us store? I NEED TO KNOW.

My guess for the bad attitude: Unrequited love of King Stefan. Or maybe Queen Leah! SCANDALOUS!

Incidentally, this is my daughter's favourite movie and I've seen it no less than 100 times in the past two months. I feel like a bit of an expert in this subject matter.

So what do you think of idea of Burton remaking this classic? And what are your thoughts on what made Maleficent so evil — do you think she was born that way or driven? Inquiring Bad Moms want to know.

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Holy crap, we're headed into the final stretch of 2009. How did that happen?

Anyway, what this means is… this week is all about one thing: 2009 RETROSPECTIVES FOR THE WIN!

Today I'm talking about movies. Movies I rarely get to see in the optimal format — the big screen — because no one will babysit my kid. Or more accurately, I can't afford to pay someone competent to watch my kid AND buy tickets to see a movie at the same time. The Red Cross will only pay so much for my blood yo and competent is the key word in that last sentence because I'm "bad" but not that "bad".

If I was that kind of "bad", I'd just give the aluminum-foiled hat guy who hangs out in the bushes next to our building five bucks to entertain my kid while I catch a film at the cinema.

See? I'm not all that "bad". I know where to draw the line.

But I was talking about movies of 2009, not parenting tips, so back to the subject at hand: The Movies of 2009. I tripped upon this awesome YouTube compilation of the films of 2009 and I'm kinda shocked at how few I saw in the theatre and I kinda cried over the good ones I missed.

FTR: I saw Terminator Salvation, Watchmen, New Moon, and of course UP in the theatre but that's about it. 

Any recommendations or ones I should definitely skip? I'd watch Terminator Salvation again but Watchmen was meh, New Moon only works if you are into that kind of thing (see image for post: Team Wolf Please), and UP will make a stone-cold killer cry like a little baby.

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