Christmas Carols For Bad Moms

By on December 8, 2011
Christmas Cheer

I have a broken wrist and limited typing ability. I will tell THAT entire story some other time. Until then, I will bring you: The Top 5 Christmas Carols For Bad Moms. Because I can do it with minimal typing. Phoning it in FTW! 5.  Queen – Thank God It's Christmas.  “Oh my friends it's [...]

Bad Moms Travel – Without Their Kids

By on September 5, 2011
Airplane sunrise

10 days. buy steroids uk 10 days I am in England. Without my child. It's a really long story. We meant to go for a month and take her. I envisioned walking through Hyde Park with her in the stroller; taking her in to Mamas and Papas on Regent street and buying adorable little outfits; [...]

Children’s Play: A Bad Mom Case Study.

By on August 29, 2011
Screen shot 2011-08-28 at 8.38.50 PM

I am all for encouraging imaginative play. I am totally down with mixing toys and letting Thomas chug through the barn or giving the toy frogs group hugs in the bath because frogs need love too. So, you know, usually I go with the flow. But sometimes, mainly because I’m a rookie mom, I just [...]

Bad Moms Get The Cold Shoulder

By on April 18, 2011
Rubber Boots and Toddler Hugs

Yes, we are those parents who ditch the kids with Grandma in order to go have fun by ourselves. Yes, I know there are plenty of parents who don’t leave their kids with anybody until they’re 16. Yes, I know that there are plenty of parents who”ve never spent a night apart, never left anybody [...]

They Don’t Tell You You’ll Lose Your Edge

By on February 7, 2011
Persona non grata.

I might be a bad mom, but I’ve totally gone soft. I used to swear by True Crime TV. Law and Order in all its flavours. CSI in all its locales. And Criminal Minds, that one-step-removed-from-torture-porn series with all the cutie FBI agents, was a weekly ritual (Ha. Get it? Ritual, like serial killers have [...]

Winter Sports For Toddlers

By on December 29, 2010

When you’re two years old, and you’re standing at the bottom of a toboggan hill, and there’s a toboggan coming your way, DO NOT MOVE. Just stand there, and then yell at everybody when the toboggan hits you, because HOW DARE THEY.

Bad Moms Love Birthdays, They Really Do

By on November 17, 2010
budge birthday

We do love birthdays, because, really, what’s not to love about birthdays? Cake, balloons, presents: it’s all pretty awesome. But really: have you ever been to a five year old’s birthday party? Can you honestly tell me that there’s a significant difference between what happens when five year olds hear the sounds of gifts being [...]

Bad Housekeeping: Bad Moms Keep It REAL In The Hizzouse, Yo

By on November 3, 2010
bad sissy

If you were ever to visit my neighborhood, I would love for you to drop by. I’d be thrilled to see you, and I would totally invite you onto my verandah, and I would fix us up a nice pot of coffee and we would sit outside and eat cupcakes – fresh from the bakery [...]

Bad Moms Admit That They’re Raising Monsters

By on October 26, 2010
vampire frog baby

Acknowledging that one’s children are monsters is a powerful first step toward understanding how and why it is that parenting sucks the very life blood from one’s person. Obviously, I am speaking figuratively — OR AM I? Look, I love my children, regardless of whether or not they sprout little fangs and keep me up [...]

Things You Should Never Make Your Children Do, Item #463

By on September 21, 2010
Shocked Kitty

I would say that this borders on child abuse – making children perform like this – but I actually think that the abuse is perpetrated on the listener. Maybe it’s both. In any case, it’s a little bit disturbing (note: NSFC – Not Suitable For Cats). Cute? Or creepy? Bad moms wanna know. source.

How Bad Moms Roll In NYC: So You Think You Can Dance Edition

By on August 13, 2010
so_you_think_you_can_dance

Because you don’t go to New York City and not dance. Especially not when you’re wearing a tutu. I think it’s a law. I’ll have you know that although Amy and I, as team MamaPop/BMC, lost, I as an individual came in second,which is actually less impressive than I’m making it out to be, because [...]

More Uses For Babies, Footwear Edition

By on July 27, 2010
baby-slippers

Some years ago my husband gave me a pair of slippers for Christmas, shaped like puppies – puppies in whose nether orifices one was supposed to stick one’s feet – and he was pretty pleased with himself for having thought of such an awesome gift, because, as he reminded me, I had “always wanted a [...]

Bad Photos of the Week: Long Live Education!

By on July 21, 2010
homework-fails-a-plus

Being a teacher is a demanding job, but it does have its perks – one of them being, at times, grading papers. It’s time consuming, sure, but every once and a while a real gem comes along – an unintentionally funny drawing or spelling error, or a really, really wrong answer – that makes up [...]

From The Basement: A Letter To Myself

By on July 19, 2010
heart-break

Posted by Connie. To Me, present and future… I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to write this blog, but I can’t figure it out, so if it sounds more like a rant and less like well-composed intelligent thought, that’s why. In my life, I have always had a problem. What is that [...]

From The Holy Crap Files: Six-Week-Old Infant Survives Bizarre Highway Accident

By on June 16, 2010
fender_bender

It’s something that I’m sure any parent who drives a vehicle has worried about at one point or another: getting in to an accident while your kids are in the car with you. Imagine, then, the horror of watching your newborn son fly out of your vehicle and shoot down the side of the highway [...]