Brings A Whole New Dimension To Peek-a-Boo

How many times have you been trolling the racks at Baby Gap and said under your breath “Screw all these cute little pink dresses, I wish Lady Gaga would design baby clothing. She’d create the kind of baby clothing my daughter needs. Gaga would make baby clothing that screams ‘Outta my way establishment, I WAS BORN THIS WAY!’“?

Every single day, I know. Well if only the following was true.

“Lady Gaga brings her celebrated gift of fashion to the littlest of monsters, Gaga GooGoo Lady Gaga BabyWear.”

Actually I’m glad this isn’t true because if I had a little monster to put in these creations this Bad Mom right here? This Bad Mom would be the sucker who would dress her daughter in a salami hat. Okay, I’d probably say no to the meat dress but that’s only because our apartment fridge is already packed as it is, adding wardrobe storage would be a little too insane.

I’d have no excuse NOT to buy this one. I mean, come on now, it’s KERMIT!

We ARE All Born Superstars

If only this was true…

source

Sesame Street. I was raised on it, I will always love it, and as far as I’m concerned, it can do no wrong.

What? Come on now, well made children’s programming never hurt anyone and we all know that moderation and moderation are the keys, yo.

Anyway. I’m all grown up now so I prefer my Sesame Street with an adult soundtrack. Like this, please kick back to Sesame’s Sure Shot:

Mildly NSFW unless your boss is a Beastie Boys fan and then you can probably crank it up.

source

Why Elmo hasn’t been on the Daily Show, I don’t know – maybe they’re holding out for Big Bird – but his appearance on Jimmy Fallon was pretty awesome:

Come to think of it, maybe Elmo isn’t a good fit for the Daily Show. Maybe Elmo’s more of a Colbert guy. Hard to say. In any case, late night television really does need more Muppets.

Oh, hey, you guys: it’s Elmo’s birthday! He’s three and a half! And according to Sesame Street, he’s ALWAYS three and a half, but still! February 3 is his birthday nonetheless!

Which raises a few questions: if February 3 is his birthday, but he is the same age every day, does that mean that Elmo exists in a temporal loop wherein it is the same day every day? Also: if Elmo is always and has always been three and a half years old, does that mean that ELMO HAS ALWAYS BEEN? That is to say, is Sesame Street telling us that Elmo is eternal? In which case – if Elmo is eternal, and only God is eternal, does that make Elmo – wait for it – GOD? Elmo is Always, but God is the Alpha and the Omega, BUT the Alpha and Omega is Always, therefore ELMO MUST BE GOD.

Which makes February 3rd, according to my reasoning, Christmas. Feel free to go drink some eggnog.

Memo to Sesame Street: the only thing that could have made this clip better is if Tim Gunn had wandered in at the end and said MAKE IT WORK.

Please get on that.

Behold, and be amazed: a Muppet remix of Kanye West’s ‘Monster.’

(Not really suitable for work or children, unless you’re in one of those all-cursing workplaces or households, which, let’s face it, are probably the best kind.)

You might have been under the misapprehension that John Denver was uncool. You’d have been wrong. John Denver qua John Denver is uncool. John Denver singing Christmas carols with Muppets is AWESOME.

Also, Miss Piggy rules. That is all.

Oscar doesn’t travel home for Thanksgiving, so he couldn’t participate in the anti-grope ‘opt-out’ demonstration that took place yesterday, but he’s not really the demonstration type anyway – protestors always have some silly do-gooder cause that they’ll insist upon explaining, and he HATES that – and also he doesn’t mind getting blasted with radiation.

Still, any opportunity to holler about his junk, and he’s in:

via PhilDesignArt, via @guykawasaki

The powers-that-be at Sesame Street have been denying for years that Bert and Ernie are, you know, a couple – those separate beds should be the giveaway, no? – but here’s a thought: just because they’re not a couple doesn’t mean that one or the other of them isn’t gay, right? Which means that this mysterious tweet from Bert – which the LA Times caught and reported and speculated wildly upon – could be a little bit coming-outsie, right? RIGHT?

Now, the question here is: is Bert up enough on gay slang to know that ‘mo’ is shorthand for homosexual? Is Bert really that sly? Sure, we’re supposed to understand that the clever minds behind Sesame Street actually do Bert’s tweeting, and I’d put nothing past them – they watch True Blood, after all – but does Bert really strike you as the kind of Muppet who’d have underlings do his tweeting for him? Really? He wears a turtleneck. Creatures who wear turtlenecks do their own tweeting.

HOWEVER, this is Bert that we’re talking about. If I had to pick one of the citizens of Sesame Street that I thought was most likely to occasionally hand off his tweeting to underlings, he’d be it (I mean, seriously: if Malcolm Gladwell hates Twitter, how do you think Bert feels about it?) He’s also the one that I’d peg first to be closeted. Luis would be a close second, just for those pants that he wore throughout the 70′s and early 80′s, but Bert noses ahead because of that sad, frustrated look in his eye. Unrequited love for Ernie? The pain of being unable to fully express his true self? Bert’s got secrets, I can tell.

COME OUT OF THE CLOSET, BERT. IT GETS BETTER.

via/ source

Happy Thanksgiving my fellow Canadians. I know that it seems ridiculous to our American friends to have Turkey Day before Hallowe’en, but you know Canadians: we like to be different.

Speaking of different, have you seen this version of the now infamous Old Spice commercial? That’s right, it’s Grover as the Old Spice guy and personally I’d rather be shipwrecked on a deserted island with him than the other guy.

Want to compare it to the I’m on a Horse original? We couldn’t resist posting that one way back when it was new. Personally I even like this one more than the Disney version of ‘Your Man Could Smell Like Scar’. This stuff never gets old people.