Because someone, somewhere, thinks that your parenting sucks. Might as well celebrate it.
Somebody asked me once why exactly it would be a good reason to have children. It’s a fair question. Having a kid is not exactly a trip to the spa. Kids are expensive and inconvenient and defiant and heartwrenching. And motherhood isn’t exactly the most respected of professions. (Oh sure, people SAY they think motherhood [...]
You know those times when you know you’re being a crap parent and you think, well, whatever, surely she won’t notice! She’s too young for it to REALLY matter! I can just modify my own behaviour next week/year/month, sometime when it really has an impact! And then in an instant, all that stuff you’ve been [...]
Three two year olds. Three days. One roof. Are you reaching for the wine yet? (Which, by the way, my toddler demanded at dinner the other night. Looked right at the waitress and said, “I need more wine!” Epic parenting fail.) We retreated to a cottage for the weekend with friends who have two year [...]
Yes, it’s true: scientists have finally developed a candy that will help fight cavities instead of causing them. Hey, do you hear that noise? Somewhere crowds and crowds of children are rejoicing while thumbing their noses at dentists and other adults who previously chastised them with stories of rotting teeth and toothless Aunt Betty who ate [...]
Bathing suit shopping, as any woman can tell you, is basically the wardrobe equivalent of walking over hot coals. You go in to the shop with the impossibly thin mannequins modeling scraps of spandex held together with plastic rings and dental floss. You pick out the suits that you think will cover the parts you [...]
Last night, Emilia and I were discussing raccoons. “Raccoons are nocturnal,” I said. “That means, they usually only come out at night.” Emilia thought about that. “Like skunks?” “Yep. Skunks are nocturnal, too.” “And bats!” “That’s right!” “And Daddy!” “Daddy?” “Because Daddy works at night. You always say, Daddy works so late, we only see [...]
Ever go back and read your own archives? I found this entry from October, 2006, back when my kids were one and three, respectively. It’s a good thing that I blog – I’d forgotten all about the effing pretty rainbow. Please to enjoy. Every day around lunchtime Julia starts asking if she can wait on [...]
Celebrities nowadays have got to know that they can’t say or do anything without it becoming headline news within seconds. Britney Spears walking in to a Starbucks sporting a broken-down weave and a pair of Daisy Dukes? Angelina Jolie itching her nose at Comic-Con? Laurence Fishburne’s teenage daughter doing porn to get famous? That’s front-page [...]
A link to the following video popped up on my Facebook feed last week with this blurb typed underneath: Found this vid on Facebook. Listen to the accent from this little girl: “Meh fed up!! Meh nah give ar mor milk fi put ina di carnflakes! Mek di fadda do dat!!” LOL “She to houta [...]
If you happen to see the Google Street View cam car driving by and your kids are playing on the front lawn, stick your head out the front door and make sure they’re fully clothed… or else. Claire Rowlands, a young mother from Britain, was shocked to see her naked three-year-old son on Google Street [...]
How many of you went to camp as a kid? I did. After my parents divorced, my mother sent me to a day camp through the summer so she could work, and I really enjoyed it, for the most part. I loved playing Capture the Flag and singing camp songs (many of which I still [...]
Please do not be inspired by this video to perform your own home dentistry, just please, please don’t. Lawyers would probably recommend that we state clearly that we will not take any responsibility for any actions inspired by the stunt embedded below, a stunt that makes me think the father who made this video might [...]
I love lists. I make many lists, probably more lists than any one human being needs but they make me feel in control so whatever works, right? To-Do lists are the ones that I’m most likely to make (again: it’s that control thing) but these are also the lists that I’m most likely to ignore. [...]
Toronto October 13 - 15